Time, assuming I could choose when to stop.
Good point. Not being able to die indefinitely sounds like torture after a while.
This. I don’t want money I need it to live but time to do the things I want to do is what I actually want (and unlimited money would give me Mord time since I wouldn’t need to work)
If I could stay a certain age, say in the mid 30s, then I’d be all for it.
food. I’d give it out for free in an effort to destroy the corporate slime that is currently infecting this planet
Literally Jesus
Monkey paw: you are granted unlimited food but the corporations recieve full compensation, so while world hunger drops, so does the quality of food, and new companies cannot break into the market because they are immediately bought by the conglomerates and quality drops, so nobody wants to eat
stop it, your ruining it
Ooh, that’s a really good monkey’s paw answer.
That’s actually not too bad… I’d imagine at some point the currency would crash, no?
I will give you 8 hours of my labor for 3 McDollars.
Some exclusions apply, not valid in all locations, visit mcdollar.gov for full terms and conditions.
The combined energy of five separate universes courses through your body and you explode.
Time, to do nothing productive.
The best kind of time
Hugs
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Unsurmountable quantity of hugs
All I see is repetitions of
🫂
I might delete because it’s a bit much. Sorry :3
OH! I see it on mobile! I’ll have to screenshot this when I get back to my desktop.
This is the post on desktop:
Ooohhhh you don’t have the emoji symbol for hugs installed, or your browser doesn’t know it.
Chromium is apparently missing something
all the cool kids are using firefox these days
🫂
You choose to go in for a hug,
But unbeknownst to you, you’ve been stabbed in the back…
with a hug.
My mom would cuddle with me, then as we’re doing that… be like “Why are you such a disappointment?”
😭
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Time
Youth. Just saying time is basically asking for some monkey’s paw shit.
Even asking for unlimited youth is tricky for the monkey paw could just make you forever a baby.
Now that wouldn’t necessarily mean you’d end up being an adult brain in a baby’s body, just straight up a 1 year old that never develops, always reliant on someone else. You’d literally have 1 year before you’d be surrendered to some sort of institution as a medical oddity whilst you comprehend nothing doomed to overwhelming stimulus forever.
Best you could hope for is specifying an age in your life you consider to be what your physical peak was and just deal with the lack of mental development completion if that physical peak was before being roughly 25 years old.
fuck yeah.
I’ll give up all my other worldly possessions. just for more time.
time
Vision, ~20/500 severely nearsighted sucks.
No I ain’t about to get surgery for it, my glasses do me just fine, but still it would at least feel like I had infinitely better vision if I had 20/20 vision…
I got surgery a while ago and am super happy with it. Though for me it was more of a “I hate having stuff on my face” kind of deal so it was a bit more urgent…
Do they knock you out like all the way, or are you just loopy, or…
Anything stabby, pokey or anything else involving any part of my vision is terrifying to think about.
You can elect to get knocked out iirc, but it costs a lot more and I think you have to wait longer as they have to call someone in; however, they give you numbing eye drops so you don’t feel it and you also don’t see it because they use a vacuum to hold your eye in place which temporarily disables vision in the eye they’re working on. You still feel the pressure though and it smells a bit like burning hair (at least with the laser they were using on me).
The least invasive option is to have a special kind of contact lens attached to your cornea after an acid treatment. The cornea then heals to the shape of the lens. This is the oldest type of treatment and you’ll have to keep the contacts in for a few weeks I think. It’s mostly used by emergency service workers and military people.
Second least is a newer surgery that uses a femtosecond laser that is able to cut away the inner parts of the cornea (the stroma) without damaging the surface (the epithelium). So the only cutting that has to be done is a small nick on the side through which the surgeon pulls out the extra cells that were mucking up your vision.
The last option is the most invasive where the epithelium is cut and folded out of the way (like a hobbit door) so the laser can burn away the excess cells. The epithelium is folded back into place and a special glue is used to keep it there. It took about a month for my eyes to heal and a year or so for them to stop being super dry.
If you do get corrective surgery find a practice that uses a femtosecond laser. It’s the best option I think.
Thanks for the details; I was going AHHHHH the whole time reading that, but knowledge is good I guess. My vision is pretty bad (and I’m partially blind) but eek, not bad enough yet to consider that. Genuinely terrifying, even the middle ‘just a tiny cut’ option, if I have to be awake to any degree.
I totally get that. There were a lot of concerned looking people in the waiting room to haha. Just FYI it becomes more difficult for your eyes to fully heal after the surgery as they age, so most places won’t operate on people older than ~35 due to the risk of complications.
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Just chiming in to say I read your detailed comment here, thanks for the response, so you don’t have to copy/paste/parrot the same response to my lengthy comment I left you…
I’m glad your surgery worked out for you, that’s awesome 👍
May I ask, similar to the other commenter, like what type of surgery did you have and how’s the anesthesia part work out, are you conscious or fully knocked out for it? What was the recovery time like and what’s the risks of something going wrong?
You can pause right here if you care to comment on my questions, beyond this point is a TL;DR of my own experiences, read further if you want…
I originally got glasses at age 8, in 1990. In the past, I have had issues with glasses not sitting comfortably on my face, but I’ve also come to respect glasses not only for focus, but also as eye protection.
For the past couple years though, I’ve been wearing stupid thick bifocals that were donated to me by an old fella, that happen to be a perfect match for my vision, but they were made around 1988, so yeah coke bottle glasses. My left lens is ~7mm thick at the thickest spot, the right lens is ~9mm thick, so yeah they’re a bit heavy, but crystal clear.
What I’ve come to learn about such heavy glasses on my face, is that when I got them as a donation made in 1988, is that initially they gave me headaches. Not from the lenses though, but from the earpieces, they needed to be bent to match my skull shape over and behind my ears. They also needed new earpiece tips as well, the originals were totally dryrotted and crumbling apart.
So, I spent like 3 hours per side, carefully bending and readjusting both earpieces very carefully, to fit properly over and behind my ears, and to conform comfortably to the shape of my skull. Then I replaced the earpiece tips with a few layers of heatshrink/Thermalfit out of my electronics kit, and covered those buffer layers with proper silicone replacement earpiece tips.
I was extremely careful to match up the ends of the earpiece tips to my skull, as that’s not only where they caused headaches, but also why they kept slipping down my nose. So as I fit them to my skull and ears, I curled the earpiece tips in much further than you usually see glasses generically made. I adjusted these things to fit me perfectly, no more headaches, no more nose slippage, and crystal clear vision.
Somehow they survive me working on vehicles and such, and still don’t have a single friggin scratch! I guess they just made stuff to actually last back in 1988, they just needed basically minor maintenance and major skull/ear fitting. It’s not about style for me anymore, it’s about what just works.
If you’ve made it this far, I’m always glad to share stories of people’s journeys towards better vision and learn along the way…
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
That’s awesome that you got some retro glasses that just happened to be your prescription. Fantastic lol. Part of the reason I got surgery was somewhat the same as the issue with your glasses, just there wasn’t anything I could’ve done to fix it. If it’s on my face, I don’t like it. Also I could see all the smudges and tiny hairs on my glasses at any one time, which annoyed the heck out of me.
I still wear ‘sun glasses’ when I go outside though. I was given a new pair of safety glasses when I was setting up a stage for IATSE a long time ago, they’re clear but still protect from UV, so I use those whenever I go out. I get some weird looks sometimes, but yeah, it’s not about the fashion, it’s about health.
Thanks for your second comment too haha.
I didn’t answer about the risks, so I’ll do so here:
Most common issue is having consistently dry eyes afterwards. If you normally have really dry eyes then you might not be able to get surgery because it disrupts the ‘channels’ in the epithelium that keep your eyes moist. As I said in the previous comment, it took a year for mine to get that back fully and I mine were on the edge of not being able to get it done (they look at the thickness of the epithelium beforehand).
Another issue is rubbing your eyes too hard and the flap opens up again… D: It’s happened a lot before because the dryness after the surgery makes your eyes really itchy sometimes, especially if you’ve put in too many eye drops.
Recovery time is really dependent on age too, I was ~30 when I get it done, and they cap it out at 35 or so because after that it might not heal correctly.
i have somewhat passing vision , no glasses. but my other senses became stronger though.
Influence. I want to be able to convince everybody with power around the world to actively support a transition away from a system that’s based on hierarchy and coercion to a decentralized and cooperative one.
I could get behind that.
But wealth is power, and power does not corrupt so much as it attracts the corruptible. You would need to work with all manner of sociopaths and malignant narcissists. And these are people who have the least justification for existing in a polite society.
Plus, they would also continue to be parasites on civilization, and continue to pathologically hoard more wealth than they could possibly spend in a million lifetimes.
Honestly, a guillotine is a lot simpler and a lot faster. Take out the top 0.01% of civilization, and the remaining members of the Parasite Class will not fight when you implement 99% top-tier tax rates, close all of the high-wealth loopholes, and build proper social frameworks that benefit everyone.
And this starts with the political system, with a high-tech direct-participation democracy which eliminates all politicians in favour of letting everyone vote on all issues. This requires a foundation with a population that is well educated in critical thinking and bullshit detection (which would destroy all conservatism in the first place), and an economic system (even modified capitalism) that meets everyone’s needs so everyone would have the headspace to deal with societal questions without being forced to always focus on economic survival. Without this political framework, socialism/communism of any form would continue to be corrupted and co-opted by strongmen and tyrants.
Because when you look at any attempt to implement communism in the past, it never survived beyond a few months to maybe a year or so. Sure, Russia had its revolution in 1917, but by 1918 Russian communism was effectively dead; taken over by an authoritarian kleptocracy no different than a feudal system.
We’re talking anarchism, not communism
Communism can very much be decentralized, and in fact a correct implementation tends to be exactly that.
Because that’s where “communism” the term comes from - community, communal, etc…
In practice, it isn’t, usually. None of the communist states extant today or historically had a decentralized system without hierarchies.
Which is why these were never communist states, any more than North Korea is democratic, or the old East Germany was a republic.
Just because these states wore the word “communism” like a thin veneer of legitimacy, does not a communist state make.
Well I’m glad you can say that.
In my experience there are people who defend both China and “DPRK” as a communist paragon with reasoning that is although extensive dodges any real criticism of China (from either an external standpoint, or from within a communist pov).
It was my impression that such “tankies” are the primary base of communists (or common enough for it to be a problem), which pushed me away from it.
Real communism has a massive flaw in that it is too idealistic and fails to account for human corruption and the pursuit of power. Especially since communism is all about equalizing power among the people. Which is also how it has always been co-opted and destroyed from within shortly after it has been implemented.
This is why I fight against calling any current country “communist”, because those countries so severely violate everything that makes a state communist. These are authoritarian kleptocracies, nothing more. They use “communism” as a thin veneer of legitimacy over a fetid, rotting carcass of dictatorship that violently oppresses the people.
Love
Yeah that’s my answer. Life is just so empty when no one loves you and you have no one to love. I’m incredibly grateful that I have a decent job and a roof over my head and food in my fridge and my life is better than it was a few years ago but except for my 2 amazing cats I have absolutely no one to love or love me and that hurts. I just want a hug and someone to tell me about their day while we eat dinner.
Health bar
Unlimited waking hours. Imagine not feeling tired, no need for coffee or naps. I do like my naps but it’s because of that afternoon drowsy feeling. Imagine that’s gone!
That sounds like complete and utter hell
Why?? This is my answer as well. There’s just not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do. There are so many things I haven’t even bothered trying because I know I don’t have the time to learn it well enough for it to be worthwhile.
I know my car repairs are DIYable but I don’t have the prerequisite knowledge so it will take me too long to be cost effective. If I didn’t have to sleep, I’ve got an extra 8 hours a day to learn.
BJs
The restaurant? 🤔
No the warehouse store.
I’m from Texas, my wife is from New Jersey. We had a lot of confusing conversations when we were long-distance about shopping or eating at BJ’s
nope, never heard of such restaurants. the other kinds of BJs
Hot single moms in my area.
Granted: moms that live in the Sahara desert
Living space. Imagine being able to instantiate unlimited pocket dimension instances and invite people to live there for free, would be really cool.
“What do you mean the party can’t use a bag of holding as shelter? It’s got infinite space don’t it?”
“Dependent on a fixed entry orifice!”
“Please don’t call it an orifice.”
I don’t have the organizational skills for infinite space. I would never be able to find anything.
If you’re homeless you have unlimited living space.
Well sort of. Is it really yours if you can’t be secure in your person or belongings? Being homeless wouldn’t be so bad if you had a magically powered hiding space that can be accessed from anywhere that no one else can get to if you don’t want them to.
