Oh wow, another former optical lab tech in the wild.

I switched fields years ago and I’m glad I did. Visiting glasses shops today, there’s almost no on-site lab to speak of anymore. Maybe some finishing machines, but I haven’t seen a full surface lab in years.

I don’t have anything to add to the contact lens story except - wow, that’s nasty.

Lol, I used to do this as a kid. Didn’t steal anything, but I deliberately acted shady just to see what would happen. Nothing ever did.

I don’t think I’ve blocked anyone. There are plenty of users I disagree with on one point or another, but I like being exposed to different perspectives. I have to admit, I even like reading a spicy comment section sometimes (and by the up/downvote ratios on some threads, it’s clear that other people like reading them, too, even if they wouldn’t say so.) I know I’m not the only one breaking out the popcorn when I see a bigot getting torn apart in a comment chain.

If somebody seems to be trolling, I report them. But there seems to be a pattern of some trolls making accounts to spam, getting blocked by mods, and then popping up with a new username, so I don’t see much point in blocking individual accounts.

I’m far more likely to block communities. Not because they’re upsetting or offensive or anything, but because I either don’t care about whatever its topic is, or I don’t speak the language it’s written in.

I’m usually asked this at work, so my go-to response is, “Well, I’m here.” Which most seem to understand.

This question reminds me of an exercise my elementary school class did once. We were told to pick an idiom and draw it literally.

I don’t remember what I picked, but my friend drew her mom’s favorite saying, “You drive me up the wall!” I can still vividly see the drawing of a lady with her eyes bugging out, driving vertically up a living room wall.

On a related note, the idea that all it takes is a simple line on the ground for a lot of disaster not to happen. Sometimes when another car passes in the opposite direction, I think of how freaking close we are, at the relative speeds we’re going, and I’m amazed/frightened that a line dividing our lanes, an imaginary border, is all that’s keeping us apart.

Sure, I’ll bite. My parents recently bought a new house. Every bedroom ceiling fan has a pattern etched into the plaster above it. This one’s my favorite.

Yep. I left Reddit during the initial API crisis. I’ve left jobs because of my principles, even without backup jobs ready. There are tons of places I won’t shop (including Amazon), and it makes finding things I need difficult sometimes. I’ve also been vegan for over 20 years.

My mom’s the opposite. I grew up seeing her hypocrisy, and it upset me. She’d outright tell me, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Such a rich lesson for a young mind! I realized that a lot of people become hypocrites by repeating what others say without critical thought, and it turned me into a skeptic. So many people jump on the emotional bandwagon (see any hot button political topic for reference), but then later after hearing someone else confidently spout an opinion on it, they will stand with the opposite conclusion. If they’d stopped and thought the first time they heard about it, before opening their mouths about it, they wouldn’t come off hypocritical later on. But the distressing part is less that they changed their opinion, but that they still haven’t put any critical thought into why they hold it - it’s all just repeating others’ words. Which is why if a topic is brand new to me, I will refuse to take a side in it until I research it and come to my own conclusions. There are enough parrots repeating propaganda thoughtlessly, we have to be very careful with whom we trust.

My principles uphold the person I am. I came to them on my own, often going against the tide I grew up in. To me, the hardest part about having principles isn’t upholding them, but in dealing with those that can’t believe you actually have them. So many people seem to float on seemingly without a real sense of self, swayed more by those around them than by any sort of inner compass. I can’t fathom being like that, and those people apparently can’t fathom being like me.

All the more reason Lemmy is such a good place to be. We might not all hold the same principles, but at least many of us seem to have them.

I’d also like to note the seeming overlap of Lemmy’s populace with neurodivergence, which can coincide with, well, being a principled weirdo like me. ;)

2016 was an interesting year for me. I had an odd week of coincidences that appeared like a hypomanic episode that never happened before and never repeated again. The biggest one being that I was dating a guy who had just told me that his lifelong dream was to meet his favorite band. That week, I won a radio contest that got us tickets to a concert with a meet-and-greet at a tiny venue with that same band.

The episode prompted me to finally see a psych for the depression I’d been dealing with for most of my life. It started me on anti-depressants, which have massively improved my quality of life.

But the biggest thing was that the episode included a day of absolute clarity. I was driving and thinking, as I’m prone to do, when out of the blue everything just made sense. I could see in my head how everything was connected to everything else, and it was intense. But I’m a skeptic, and I needed to know that I was still grounded in reality, so I pulled over into a parking lot and called a friend. I asked him to help me make sure I was still making sense and I wasn’t going off the deep end. He’s a deeply rational guy, known to recognize bullshit, and yet as I talked on and on about the many puzzle pieces that now seemed to fit together, he remarked that yes, I was still making sense.

Key to it was the feeling that it was a sort of enlightenment, the same kind that religious folks might feel after years of meditation, or that some people experience through psychedelic drugs. There was a strong sense that I was not alone in that sensation, that many others had felt it before and that when they did, they had the same epiphany that we were connected directly. The sense of peace was incredible. I don’t believe in a god and that moment did not change that, but I did come away with a new respect for those who take their faith seriously and sincerely (that is, not like the christians in the US that use it to spread hate, but rather like the monks who give up everything to pursue their spiritual journeys.) I could feel the immensity of the universe, and see in my mind’s eye an infinite web that brought everything together. I could mentally travel that web from point to point, seeing all different perspectives at the same time. It was wild, and hasn’t happened again since.

Despite it being so brief, the few hours I spent in that state have impacted me to this day. Some things that used to bother me didn’t annoy me anymore. Finding patience became much easier. It also became easier to understand and connect to people.

One more weird thing that started that week and never stopped - I developed the uncanny ability to spot four-leaf clovers. I can’t count how many I’ve discovered in the ten years since, but if there’s a four-leafer in a patch that I walk by and all I do is scan it in my periphery, I will stop, reach down, and either point it out or pluck it to give to whoever I’m with. It’s like they jump out to me. It’s fun having a strange talent that makes people happy.

Is there a way to filter YT searches for that?

I don’t know how common it is today, but I know when I was growing up there was a ton of pressure on us to know what we wanted to do forever by the time we were in high school. It was so bad that I went into a depressive shut-down, with weeks of barely eating or talking to anyone. Adults would try to reassure me with, “Nobody knows what they want to do by your age,” yet simultaneously I was told, “You need to go to college so you don’t flip burgers forever.” College comes along with needing to declare a major, which means deciding what you want to focus on despite being so young. So I don’t need to know, but I do need to know? Very, very confusing.

The school system has been failing for a long time. I saw the writing on the wall in the early 00s and wanted nothing to do with a system that seemed to be more about extracting money and wasting time than anything else. Thankfully, like you, I love learning! I never stopped picking up skills and challenging my mind, and in a world of emergent AI it’s become more important than ever to keep exercising one’s brain.

In the end, I’d say you’re probably less alone than you feel. A lot of people who seem confident about what they plan to do are either doing what they’re told, or taking on a “fake it til you make it” mentality. Check back on them in ten years and see how many of them actually stuck to their plan - it will be surprising. A lot changes in one’s 20s. Friends drift apart (physically and psychologically) as they begin their independent journey through life.

I get the impression that I don’t need to tell you not to fall for social media where people only show their best selves, but it bears noting. Comparing one’s self to others is a surefire way to make one feel bad about themselves, and social media exacerbates that trend. As you see friends going on and doing things, try to remember the old phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” Some of them are hiding their struggles, and may secretly envy you and your decisions, even if they don’t tell you so.

Anyway, just keep up learning topics that interest you. The idea of a “dream job” is propaganda, and by admitting it doesn’t exist for you, you help show it for the bullshit idea it is. Not everyone dreams of working. Not everyone should dream of working. There’s nothing wrong with finding a job that supports you (which I do recommend, as you really never know what can happen) while finding meaning and fulfillment from things that don’t make you money.

I technically have a LinkedIn account, but haven’t so much as visited it in nearly a decade. Everything on it is long out of date, save for my name. The listed home town and job history aren’t relevant to where I am and what I do today.

Despite that, I got a new job last year. Like you, I used a typical job-finding site… sort of. I searched on there, but didn’t find the job I have - rather, a recruiter for this company reached out to me. Not sure if that info is good news or bad news for you, but it worked out for me, even without an active LinkedIn page.

I find myself scrolling here less because of all the doomerism and bad news. It’s just exhausting to be bombarded with it all day.

“Maybe you feel the need to compensate, but that doesn’t mean everyone does.”

For real though, that’s bizarre. It’s okay to not perform at 100% all the time, that’s how you fast track to burn-out. Thank goodness my workplace isn’t of the “grind employees until they’re dust” mentality. Last time I showed signs of work stress, my boss actually sat with me to plan out some mental health days for the coming months.

I usually don’t bring up things I don’t get or care to get because inevitably someone chimes in to start elaborating about the topic anyway. Like they missed the part where I said, “I don’t care.”

One thing I don’t care to get is actors/celebrity stuff. I have a touch of face-blindness as well as ADHD, so I haven’t seen as many films as most people seem to have watched. When people bring up an actor and I tell them, “I don’t know them and I don’t care,” it’s like they feel compelled to start listing things the person was in regardless. Then I’m subject to a list of movies, none of which I’ve ever seen, all while they keep trying to trigger a memory in my brain that doesn’t exist. No matter how many times I say, “I don’t watch a lot of movies” or “I struggle to recognize novel faces,” the same thing seems to happen 10 out of 10 times such a topic arises. It’s so weird. I just want to move onto another topic. I don’t know, I don’t care, and nothing you say is going to spark recognition of some rando celebrity. Just let it go.

The main celebrities I’ll be aware of are those who voice act. I’m an adult, but honestly I prefer animation. I can recognize a voice in a cartoon. Ah but the celebrity-fans don’t usually recognize voice actors. Funny that. Maybe I should turn the tides next time by talking about Frank Welker’s animal voices or something.

Ha, yes. I actually just had a funny moment about this a few weeks ago. I spent a lot of time as a teen in Canada (I live in the US.) One of my coworkers, by sheer coincidence, came from the same town I used to visit.

We were talking the other day and I mentioned that I had sushi for the first time in Canada. She asked where and I was like, “Oh, I don’t remember the name, but I know where it was.” She mentioned a name, which didn’t initially ring a bell, so I opened a map. I zoomed in on where I remembered walking until I found the spot, and instantly laughed. It was, indeed, the exact same place my coworker named.

It’s been over 20 years, but if I were to go to Canada and take the train into that town, I’d still be able to walk to that sushi place without any help.

All the people saying, “I’d just die,” remember that neolithic peoples (hell, all people up to the present day) rely on social bonds. You don’t have to possess every survival skill, just enough skills to be an asset to a community of mutual-support.

I already educate children, and regardless of society’s form I’d probably continue to do so because it’s vitally important. Also as someone well-practiced in a variety of handicrafts, I suspect I’d find my niche quite comfortably. Making useful things from limited resources, teaching others how to make such things, and teaching children the knowledge I’ve accumulated throughout my life, I think there’s bound to be a place in a stone age community for someone like me.

I think too many people are encouraged not to use their brains, at least here in the US. Questioning things is discouraged from childhood, while conformity is rewarded. People are terrified of standing out, or at least of having the appearance of “causing trouble.” It’s drilled into every generation at least til Z (I have no information on how gen Alpha is faring yet.) I’m Gen Y/Millennial and for sure my public schools, in a blue state, were very heavy on punishment and shutting down student dissent, even when the students are objectively right (like when a teacher shares a false idea as fact.) Those who stood back and watched didn’t get in trouble, and learned impactful lessons on what happens to those who dare question what they’re told. We’ve been trained for authoritarian rule since our youth, and some people wholeheartedly believe whatever their authority tells them. Their ability to critically think/think for themselves has atrophied.

Even when there’s a spark of understanding, pressure to remain in the “in-group” can override it. Cognitive dissonance lulls them back to the apparent safety of their “tribe,” where everything is as they believe it is, and some strong ruler is totally looking out for them. New ideas aren’t rewarded in this system, so there’s little point in trying to learn things. In fact if they learn too much, they could risk being alienated because of it. Again, that’s a big no-no. Must remain with the in-group.

The good news is, plenty of people break out of these cults groups. Those who do break out can attest to how bad it is. I really can’t overstate the amount of allegiance and deference we’re taught to give to others, and I’m not surprised so many people have taken the easy route and straight-up surrendered their brains. It’s all they’ve ever known.

we’re on a weird little island between everything else

New state slogan

I live in a city because searching for affordable housing doesn’t leave much choice. Waiting lists are months or even years long, so when a spot opens up, you take it.

I lucked out massively by landing the neighborhood I got. Traffic has its moments (mainly when events are going on at the local arena), but not any worse than I’ve experienced elsewhere outside the city. The walkability is a huge plus that outweighs it anyway, and is something that I never had in the suburbs.

It’s not heaven, but it’s certainly not hell. That said, I didn’t have a choice, and that’s the real issue at the heart of it all.