My guess is “low traffic neighborhood”

This is incredible and I thank you for bringing this to my attention

Could accomplish the same effect with his mugshot

This is the point at which you should begin looking for a couples therapist

You wouldn’t be an asshole for asking, but you would be an asshole if you kept insisting after they said no.

Communication is great, coercion is not.

Also sounds like therapy would be a good idea, but that can be said of anyone.