The first therapist I saw happened to be really good, or maybe I was really ready to hear her, possibly both. One thing she mentioned and really affected me at the time: observing how I expressed how guilty I felt about how mad I was about XYZ, that often the “secondary” feelings (guilt) give us more trouble than the primary feeling (anger). This helped me start to drill down into what my actual feeling/reaction to XYZ was, and I could feel less plagued/affected by the guilt/shame/whatev that had been drilled into my head over time (by mom, teachers, whomever).
I went to one therapist in my late 20s for about 6 months, then in mid/late 30s spoke with 2 different psychiatrists and 2 different talk therapists / social workers, plus have experienced 3 different couples counselors (oh joy). Some are not a good fit. I recommend trying someone for a few sessions — at least 3 — and then allowing yourself to try a different person. They will not be offended!
Thank you for the transcript, this is wild