Here’s my take: therapy only works if you give yourself over to it. That is to say, you have to be committed to take the advice that your therapist gives you, regardless of whether or not you (in the moment) believe it or not*.

You also have the right, and expectation, to push back. But, you have to do it in good faith. If you do the work, and take their advice, and it genuinely isn’t working for you no matter ho hard you try, tell them it isn’t working and what you’ve done.

I’ve been in therapy for almost 3 years now. It’s done wonders. But it’s been a long, difficult, and often painful journey. My therapist and I have had our moments. It happens. But we both kept at it, and I actually feel like a “normal” person for once.

Also: if you genuinely feel like you’re not connecting with your therapist, then don’t be shy about it. Let them know, and go find someone else. Don’t settle for someone just because you think you can’t do better or that you don’t deserve better.

* Obviously don’t do anything that would cause you or others harm.

Do you filter keywords? I filter a lot of keywords, so now my feed is a lot quieter because of it. It’s also a lot nicer, and I don’t spend as much time on here as I used to.

And don’t worry, you’ll find some other new way to procrastinate. 🤣

I would like to have a genuine conversation with you about your take. What happened to you in the last two years that had you about-face on your (lack of) faith?

I used to be religious growing up (it was a familial expectation). Then I kinda half-heartedly gave up, and I became agnostic. Eventually I decided that there is no God as we know it, but I do not deny the idea that there was some greater hand at play in our existence as a species.

Things do feel a little too coincidental to simply be random. For existence, our existence in general: the earth had to form in just the right place in space, and the temperature and oxygen levels had to level out to a specific point for humanoids to form and grow.

I know that can all be explained by science, and I am not disputing any science. But that’s my anecdotal opinion on why I feel there is something/someone out there bigger than us (but not a God).

Like I said, I’m genuinely curious on your take.

HTML or XML? If XML, you can use the built-in plutil in Terminal. If not, ignore me. 😊

Don’t do it. Just don’t. There’s too much spam and ads out there already.

What is it you would like us to say?

Old really is how you feel. I feel old now (48, going on 49), but only because of how my life turned out and certain events that I have to deal with (divorce, single fatherhood, getting colonoscopies, etc) by myself. I certainly don’t have as much fun as I used to, and that definitely plays a huge part in feeling old.

All that to say that if your dad is having fun, “not acting his age”, then good for him! I hope he gets many more years of that before shit has to get serious.

To directly answer your question: a 36-old is supposed to act however they want to (within moral reason of course), so long as they and the people around them are enjoying it.

I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, and while it never fully goes away, it can get better over time. Shit like this sucks, and what you’re going through is normal; i.e. there is nothing wrong with you.

Keep doing what you’re doing. You got this!