I wonder how much of that rudeness/hostility is because they quickly clocked you as a very judgemental person and were annoyed at wasting their time going on said date?

Queer people have to deal with a lot of entitled, judgemental people (particularly those willing to date cishet men). You can only encounter so many people who think themselves better than you or who exhibit traits like toxic masculinity or prejudicial beliefs before becoming jaded.

It’s not necessarily you, it’s all the shitty people that came before you that set the bar so low that it’s underground. You need to show you’re at least better than that abysmally low standard before someone’s likely to open up to you.