

I’m fully aware that orangutans aren’t our closest relatives, and that our of Asia is pretty well debunked… But I swear to God, every time I see one of them fuckers I think “hello, grandfather! Teach me the ways of the forest!” Lol. I feel a kinship to them that I just don’t with other great apes (except maybe bonobos), and it makes me wish they were our closest relatives. … And also that I had some kind of scifi helmet I could give them to make them smarter and give them language so they could tell us to fuck off and leave their habitats alone
I have, in fact, been told I am a man of very little substance.