Then make it lie. Spoofing is a thing that sometimes works!

After searching the PDF, I only saw Apple listed for one product, and didn’t see any instances where it wasn’t “green”, so I’m not sure how clickbaity the article is (since I didn’t read the article itself)

Agreed. I’m a man. When I was dating last, my personal rule was “always use condoms at least the first time with a new partner, and then discuss it after that as things progress.”

Laser printers don’t have this problem. Their medium is already a dry powder!