• Smoogs@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    edit-2
    9 hours ago

    if you’re from a loving, supportive family: Yes for a time you can get unhappy as you age. You get more and more responsibilities. And by Responsibilities I mean you are expected to do things without praise. Like taking care of yourself and then a family. No one claps for you getting groceries or taking out the garbage. (Though if your in an abusing family this is very different : you can get happier as you get closer to the age to escape)

    Then, once you adapt to this and you become self reliant for approval, it gets easier. You get happier in more self sustaining ways in which you get hobbies. Embrace the freedom of choices.

    Then one day responsibilities get lighter. Like maybe someone who’s been very reliant on you develops their own independence and leaves.

    And then you’re even more happier than ever. Happy for them. You helped get them there and grow. Also happy for yourself as you get more free time to do stuff for you.

    Like imagine being that person you wanted to grow up to be as child with no parents or other responsibilities to stop you from doing things you wanted to do. And the best thing: you have the confidence and life story to know you’re entirely capable now.

    That’s if you’re doing this self development thing right.

    I’ve known ppl who don’t ever develop personal acceptance and end up in earlier life cycles of constant dependencies on others around them and bouncing back into depression. constantly reliving a specific age: like remarriage / recapture a prom night experience / doing something just to get dad approval like that’s the happiest they ever could be. And it always includes seeking approval. Someone else has to be a centric piece to their happiness. Someone else always has to act a part.

    Tldr: Look after your mental health. Roll the hard six. Sometimes discomfort is growth. If this is something you can’t live with: talk to a professional to help you get there cuz this is part of being human and your brain will trick you into doing some meaningless, wasteful shit if you don’t trick it first.