I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
Depends. I’ve realized that people aren’t really looking for an answer beyond being acknowledged, so “hey”, “hey, how are you?” or a simple return of the greeting lets them know that you hear them and are completing the social contract. If they follow up or if it’s asked in a context where I think they want an answer sometimes I just say “here” or “breathing” and that gets the point across.